Some thoughts..

Okay, I'm not meaning to sound judgmental, mad or anything. I think it's mainly my hormones that magnify anything that I may be feeling. I feel as though some people shouldn't really have the right to tell me what to do when they're not pregnant and when this isn't their baby. I won't go into specifics, but I will post a pregnancy letter that explains how I feel.

My brother in law told me that I read too much. I didn't think that was a bad thing. Yes, I read a lot. I like to read. I would read anything I can get my hands on. When I don't know something, I want to study it. I guess it comes from being in college for so long. I want to be informed, I want to know what's going on, I want to answer my own questions and concerns. I decided a long time ago that I wanted to understand what I was getting myself into when I got pregnant. Keep in mind, I said UNDERSTAND. By no means do I KNOW what is going on. They say every pregnancy is different and that every woman is different, so I just want to understand what's going on.

I already have a birth plan. I know what EXACTLY what I want when the birth happens. James and I have talked it about many times and we have our list of things that are GOING to happen when Alexander is born. I don't entirely trust the hospital system. I've heard so many bad things that's happened, but I like to prepare for the unexpected. I would like for us to be by in a hospital in case something is wrong, but that's my OCD getting in the way. I'm finding more and more women don't really know what kind of birth they want to experience. The common saying I've heard is "I just don't want an episiotomy." I'll post my birth plan on here after I've finalized it. I have a lot more reading to do about Vitiman K shots and eye drops. Anyway, I'm just expressing how I feel right now.