Getting closer..and more drama..

So yesterday, I had my midwife appointment. And when Dawn checked his heartbeat, she noticed it was on the low end. It was about 110 bpm and she decided to do a non stress test, so I laid there in the office for about 20 minutes with the fetal monitor strapped to me. The big problem was that he was extremely active at this time, so they didn't get the readings that they wanted. So, Dawn sent me over to L&D to do more long term fetal monitoring. I went over, got hooked up and after an hour, she came by and noticed that his heartbeat baseline is still considered a little low. She talked with Dr. Mott and decided to just continue to monitor while I ate and drank (since I didn't have anything for almost 4 hours). Dawn told me that it seems that he just has a low heart rate and she even did an ultrasound to check that he was still doing "unique" activity, such as practice breathing and opening/closing his hands. They weren't freaking out, I suppose they just wanted to know what was going on. After a couple hours more of fetal monitoring, they decided to send me home. I'm going back on Friday (my due date) to do some more monitoring and Dawn said they are probably going to insert the prepidil gel so I won't go too overdue. The nurse at the evaluation room noticed that I was contracting a bit, and she said it was either due to the vaginal exam or I may go into labor soon. They couldn't quite tell, but I just seem to be 1 cm dilated.

After I got home, I cried. I knew there wasn't a lot to worry about. I wasn't really freaking out. I was just very emotional. I came home and cried my heart out. James comforted me wonderfully and even made me dinner so I wouldn't have to stress out. I love my son so much already, I'm so already attached, that if anything were wrong with him, I'd be terrified! I want him to be here, in my arms. My due date is tomorrow and I can't believe he isn't here yet. I wish he was. My life doesn't seem complete without him now...