Don't take this as a bad post. It's just me venting about what I think marriage should be. Believe me, I love my husband and he's doing such a wonderful job. I couldn't ask for a better man. I have a lot of faith in our love and marriage because of our foundation.
My parents have rules since being married and James and I have adapted them as our own. A lot of it comes from observation, and the fact that it helps our marriage. These are a list of our own rules and we're pretty good at following them.
1) Never talk to a member of the opposite sex about marital problems. It's okay to talk to family, that's a given. But I would never find it appropriate to talk to a guy about my problems with James. Just sets up for a bad situation.
2) Never go to bed angry. This is based off the biblical verse to not let the sun set on your fury. And I agree with that. There have been nights where James and I would be up for hours, just talking and trying to resolve whatever is going on. Plus, when you fall asleep angry, you just start your day angry and that's never a good thing.
3) Always sleep in the same bed. This was a huge observation based on divorce parents. As long as you're constantly there with your problem, you have to face it and deal with it. It's always better to deal with it and resolve it than sleep in another room and avoid it.
4) Never storm out during a fight. Walking out is always a bad thing. It usually makes things worse. I found that it just makes James even angrier with me because it gets the public involved.
5) Never fight in public. Stems from the storming off rule, it would be embarrassing for us to fight in public.
6) Don't use the "D" word. The word "divorce" is poison. How can you expect to stay with someone forever if all you say is that you want a divorce?
We're not perfect. We don't follow the rules all the time. But to make sure that there isn't more complications to it, these are our rules. We love each other and that's what a marriage is truly based on.
