Taking the big plunge!

Well, I applied for graduate school. And to be honest, I'm scared out of my mind! I applied for my Master's in Secondary Education with a focus in Math. I really believe that I'm going to be a student for life! I do want to start working, the education field has always been intriguing to me. Just a few things I have to think about:

• How soon will I start to teach after I get my degree?
• What about Alex? Should I wait till he's in preschool?
• When I get pregnant with my second child, will I take a break or just continue working?

Ideally I would teach fairly quickly and Alex can go into daycare. I would tell myself that it wouldn't be too bad since a teacher's schedule is no where near as demanding as any other job. Plus, I would get summers off and once Alex starts school, we'd both be on the same schedule. I want to be around for those precious moments but I also feel the desire to work. I'm really torn. I keep thinking that if we were in Albuquerque, I would go ahead and start working and leave Alex with my mom.

I also think about maybe just getting my Master's for right now and then get another Master's in school counseling later, and when our kids are in school, I can go to work. I'm unsure. I love staying at home with Alex, but with the current job situation, I feel that James and I should have some sort of a back up plan.

I wish this could be easier. I wish that we were closer to my family and if we had to put Alex in daycare, he could stay with my mom and it would make my choices easier. I'm not sure where my dilemma is. Is it the fact that I might be leaving Alex? Or that I don't want to put him in a daycare? Would I want to put him in one? What if I don't like being away from him? What about if we have another child? So many choices.. So much to decide..